Take the saying “everything happens for a reason”. It might be said in wonderment at a co-incidence… It’s often said when there is nothing else to say. It’s said to pacify, to console, to show empathy. Do people really believe it? Maybe, maybe not...
If it were true, that everything happens for a reason, what does that really mean? It must mean that something – outside of us – is actually controlling what’s happening. Otherwise who or what would have decided the reason that it happened? If you believe this saying, does that then mean that you do believe in God or some kind of higher power or higher self?
Even if you don’t believe in some kind of guiding force in the world, there are some important benefits to acting as if you do believe that everything happens for a reason. For instance:
- Less stress - if you know that some good will come out of the situation then it is easier to let go of stress and not worry.
- Guidance - it encourages you to seek out signs as to “what next?”
- Learning - it gets you to think about why this might have happened and what you can learn from the situation
- Feeling better - it helps you to actively look for the positive in any situation and as I’m sure you’re well aware, what you focus on is what you tend to get more of
Let me give you some examples from my own life…
Autumn 2007 I thought that I was moving to the States. I sold my house, got rid of lots of my belongings and moved into temporary accommodation. My move abroad fell through and at first I felt like the rug had been pulled from under me. However, I knew deep inside me that it was all happening for a reason. I just didn’t know what yet.
Since then I ended up taking time out of my business and looking at new directions and getting back into activities I love doing and had stopped. The result is that I’ve been out doing public speaking again, I’ve been writing my forthcoming book (paused at the moment as I’m prioritising) and I started my own radio show.
From a personal point of view I had the wonderful experience of a six-month relationship which I learnt some BIG lessons from. Since then I have attracted an amazing partner – early days yet though so far, so great - and it is clear to me that I have definitely learnt those lessons from the last relationship!
From my current beau I got the gift of a book by Roger Hamilton about Wealth Dynamics profiling did the profile a couple of months ago and not only has it given me much needed clarity in my own business, I’ve had an idea for another business that I will investigate after I have got the right support team in place.
Would these things have happened if I had moved to the States? Who knows. All I know is that I’m very happy about how things have turned out!
There’s an exercise in my forthcoming book, called the “Silver Lining” exercise. This has five particular questions to help draw out the lessons and the good in any situation.
Q. Who did I meet as a result?
Q. How did I grow my comfort zone?
Q. What did I learn to handle in life?
Q. What signs did I learn to recognise in order to prevent this from happening again?
Q. What pattern(s) of feelings and/or behaviour would be useful to let go of?
It’s been amazing the outcomes that my talk and workshop participants have had as a result of doing this exercise. I’ve heard some very harrowing and yet heart-warming stories. We human beings have the capacity to overcome the most challenging of circumstances and grow as a result.
You see, maybe everything does happen for a reason…
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